Things are hard and I wish they weren’t. Life is hell but it doesn’t have to be. There’s no sense to what’s happening, and I don’t know if it would help if there was. It wouldn’t make things right if we knew, or maybe it would. Maybe if we as a species were to recognize our selfishness then perhaps we could prevent some of these tragedies. If we, if I, just took one step back and could just see things as a whole, maybe we would be a little kinder.
But we can’t, we can only look back at the things we’ve done in the moment and hope we can take away something from it. I wish I could make it better, though that thought doesn’t really help my self-centeredness. Because at the end of the day I can only see and feel the world through my eyes, even when I’m trying to look through someone else’s. Which means I’m going to say the wrong things, and I’m going to have the wrong thing said to me, and then will take it in the worse possible way. Though I might try to act rational, though I might try to act fair, it’s the emotions that control us, especially in times of despair.
I love you sweet girl, and I don’t know what else to say. I just want you and everyone else to be okay.
A Song for Sophie 